im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Randomize
