so let's talk penis.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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