when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Pants are for mortals
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
