I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
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