Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Randomize
