Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Is it penis luge time yet?
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
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