I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
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