I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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