I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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