idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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