good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
