Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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