Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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