Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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