with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
