Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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