New invention idea: vibrating tampons
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Pants are for mortals
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
