there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
