My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Randomize
