Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Someone came in the potted fern
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize