then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
