It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
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