You just made me feel so damn special
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize