i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Randomize