she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
