I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
