What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
