shes about as inviting as chlamydia
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
