I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
