So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
