Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
