yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
