i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
The adults are the big ones right?
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