what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
