there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
