You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
