a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
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