I must be too annoying 4 u.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
