meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
