come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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