i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
