Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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