There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
