absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Randomize
