Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(207): View more from Maine

I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?

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(805): View more from California

before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.

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(901): View more from Tennessee

i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like

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(970): View more from Colorado

i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final

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The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
Read it at the TFLN blog
(908): View more from New Jersey

almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow

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(518): View more from New York

Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.

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(207): View more from Maine

Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.

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(303): View more from Colorado

Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.

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(077): View more from

I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night

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