I'm an idiot
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
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He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
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I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.