Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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