Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize
