He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
