I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Randomize
