U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Randomize
