I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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