that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize
