So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
