somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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