then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
