Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
