I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
The 23 Worst Things That Have Happened After a One Night Stand
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head