Texts From Last Night

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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something

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  (508): help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something http://tfl.nu/479k
  Replies (27) Good night (906) Bad night (2884)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.

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  (215): I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons. (267): I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner. http://tfl.nu/vxtv
  Replies (12) Good night (1159) Bad night (4663)
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  (260): View more from Indiana

  Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?

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  (260): Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache? http://tfl.nu/2cci
  Replies (4) Good night (695) Bad night (4292)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.

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  (785): There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob. http://tfl.nu/pwq0
  Replies (26) Good night (4611) Bad night (2438)
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  (518): View more from New York

  in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility

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  (518): in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility http://tfl.nu/vdpc
  Replies (8) Good night (3541) Bad night (786)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?

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  (267): Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder? http://tfl.nu/3p5i
  Replies (4) Good night (3080) Bad night (800)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.

  (419): View more from Ohio

  ....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.

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  (937): I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before. (419): ....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return. http://tfl.nu/j7d7
  Replies (21) Good night (2244) Bad night (647)
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.

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  (321): Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever. http://tfl.nu/zuk0
  Replies (12) Good night (2747) Bad night (516)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.

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  (314): It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved. http://tfl.nu/gg0m
  Replies (3) Good night (862) Bad night (418)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2

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  (902): Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2 http://tfl.nu/oegq
  Replies (5) Good night (787) Bad night (811)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?

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  (313): My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up? http://tfl.nu/qcgq
  Replies (1) Good night (828) Bad night (371)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.

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  (404): Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on. http://tfl.nu/451u
  Replies (7) Good night (710) Bad night (822)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets

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  (480): I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets http://tfl.nu/pibl
  Replies (7) Good night (424) Bad night (687)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  Did you high five my face last night?

  (417): View more from Missouri

  Yes. Yes I did.

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  (573): Did you high five my face last night? (417): Yes. Yes I did. http://tfl.nu/h5yc
  Replies (2) Good night (718) Bad night (323)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.

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  (847): I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents. http://tfl.nu/keo7
  Replies (6) Good night (491) Bad night (300)

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