i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
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yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
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i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.