Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(713): View more from Texas

Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?

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(713): Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing? http://tfl.nu/g5e5

Replies (1) Good night (1030) Bad night (546)
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(815): View more from Illinois

yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything

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(815): yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything http://tfl.nu/8gpe

Replies (14) Good night (4266) Bad night (761)
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(401): View more from Rhode Island

how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?

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(401): how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards? http://tfl.nu/ktqz

Replies (67) Good night (17165) Bad night (1984)
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(251): View more from Alabama

just found the deal breaker

(1-251): View more from Alabama

hairy back?

(251): View more from Alabama

he can't live within 1000 ft of a school

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(251): just found the deal breaker (1-251): hairy back? (251): he can't live within 1000 ft of a school http://tfl.nu/kwkd

Replies (73) Good night (947) Bad night (14264)
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(850): View more from Florida

Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday

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(850): Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday http://tfl.nu/xmv6

Replies (36) Good night (5909) Bad night (600)
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(317): View more from Indiana

The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.

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(317): The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope. http://tfl.nu/lawp

Replies (25) Good night (5272) Bad night (1105)
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(901): View more from Tennessee

He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.

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(901): He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor. http://tfl.nu/qeri

Replies (20) Good night (918) Bad night (4208)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro

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(215): You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro http://tfl.nu/bhdm

Replies (19) Good night (15163) Bad night (1856)
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(415): View more from California

I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.

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(415): I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice. http://tfl.nu/3g7h

Replies (13) Good night (3038) Bad night (820)
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(281): View more from Texas

Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.

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(281): Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night. http://tfl.nu/k3ni

Replies (5) Good night (869) Bad night (1567)
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(904): View more from Florida

Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.

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(904): Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters. http://tfl.nu/kh3s

Replies (21) Good night (2149) Bad night (1025)
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(802): View more from Vermont

I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.

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(802): I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday. http://tfl.nu/gxw8

Replies (7) Good night (1434) Bad night (446)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.

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(402): Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that. http://tfl.nu/hrua

Replies (2) Good night (295) Bad night (542)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives

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(215): I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives http://tfl.nu/psy5

Replies (4) Good night (266) Bad night (438)
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(646): View more from New York

Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.

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(646): Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50. http://tfl.nu/ks3u

Replies (1) Good night (502) Bad night (212)

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