I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY