Texts From Last Night

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  (574): View more from Indiana

  i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting

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  (574): i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting http://tfl.nu/eus0
  Replies (23) Good night (3634) Bad night (1799)
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  (209): View more from California

  just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?

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  (209): just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto? http://tfl.nu/nvmp
  Replies (22) Good night (1689) Bad night (4823)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?

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  (815): Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed? http://tfl.nu/op28
  Replies (29) Good night (856) Bad night (4485)
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  (432): View more from Texas

  From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention

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  (432): From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention http://tfl.nu/4fnt
  Replies (26) Good night (6288) Bad night (756)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...

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  (843): Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks.... (843): I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one... http://tfl.nu/xuml
  Replies (12) Good night (4013) Bad night (851)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.

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  (785): I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol. http://tfl.nu/ketb
  Replies (11) Good night (4315) Bad night (1697)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer

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  (817): If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer http://tfl.nu/rqqd
  Replies (24) Good night (2812) Bad night (908)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters

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  (509): Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters http://tfl.nu/r1et
  Replies (20) Good night (4222) Bad night (1332)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.

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  (732): I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that. http://tfl.nu/uw0f
  Replies (1) Good night (1409) Bad night (562)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.

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  (781): Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth. http://tfl.nu/q2q1
  Replies (10) Good night (1090) Bad night (536)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.

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  (701): All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats. http://tfl.nu/27ky
  Replies (2) Good night (627) Bad night (1173)
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  (807): View more from Ontario

  My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.

  (1-807): View more from Ontario

  I don't see the problem

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  (807): My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive. (1-807): I don't see the problem http://tfl.nu/s96d
  Replies (5) Good night (1664) Bad night (609)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?

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  (414): I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I? http://tfl.nu/qaua
  Replies (10) Good night (504) Bad night (811)
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  (763): View more from Minnesota

  I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...

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  (763): I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked... http://tfl.nu/6r3j
  Replies (3) Good night (314) Bad night (509)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.

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  (405): Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off. http://tfl.nu/yiq6
  Replies (4) Good night (370) Bad night (235)

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