yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
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