Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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