When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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