hell yes lets make some ravioli
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
