i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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