If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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