If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I could fuck to npr.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
false alarm, still single
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
