Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
