i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
